I love autumn, but this one has been bittersweet. Moreso than usual. I’m at an age now where almost every week brings news of a death or illness that hits too close to home. It leaves you tired. Very, very tired. One of the hardest things to bear with all these internet-based relationships we are forming is watching helplessly as someone builds up a wrong idea about who you really are, and seeing their inevitable disappointment when they actually discover the flawed individual behind all those pixels. And even though the deceits and the illusions mostly aren’t intentional on either side, the let-down is still brutal.  I’m tired. Really, really tired. I’m letting down people I care about because I don’t have the strength to reach out when they need me. What’s more, I spend too much energy reaching out to people who’d probably prefer to be left alone. I recognize this about myself, yet I can’t seem to quit doing it. No person should ever have to face 3 AM alone. It’s the cruelest hour, by far. Maslow was pretty much spot on with his Hierarchy of Needs, but I think he placed too little emphasis on Hope. Living without it is too brutal to contemplate. I’m way behind on e-mail. I’m getting ready to start a photography project, and I’ve got a half-dozen replies from potential collaborators to answer. Which also means a half-dozen interviews and a half-dozen meetings with smart and attractive people I’ve never met. I’m excited about the project, but this part leaves me filled with anxiety and doubt.
Pop-upView Separately

I love autumn, but this one has been bittersweet. Moreso than usual.

I’m at an age now where almost every week brings news of a death or illness that hits too close to home. It leaves you tired. Very, very tired.

One of the hardest things to bear with all these internet-based relationships we are forming is watching helplessly as someone builds up a wrong idea about who you really are, and seeing their inevitable disappointment when they actually discover the flawed individual behind all those pixels. And even though the deceits and the illusions mostly aren’t intentional on either side, the let-down is still brutal. 

I’m tired. Really, really tired. I’m letting down people I care about because I don’t have the strength to reach out when they need me. What’s more, I spend too much energy reaching out to people who’d probably prefer to be left alone. I recognize this about myself, yet I can’t seem to quit doing it.

No person should ever have to face 3 AM alone. It’s the cruelest hour, by far.

Maslow was pretty much spot on with his Hierarchy of Needs, but I think he placed too little emphasis on Hope. Living without it is too brutal to contemplate.

I’m way behind on e-mail. I’m getting ready to start a photography project, and I’ve got a half-dozen replies from potential collaborators to answer. Which also means a half-dozen interviews and a half-dozen meetings with smart and attractive people I’ve never met. I’m excited about the project, but this part leaves me filled with anxiety and doubt.

54 Notes/ Hide

  1. acrazymomslife reblogged this from froggeek and added:
    Lovely picture, lovelier words,...will do great dear friend!
  2. frageelay said: :( Here for you, my friend.
  3. janetisserlis said: love to you. imperfectblove, imperfect souls that we are. xo
  4. ellerenoir said: This happens all too often on here, Bud. Hugs for ya.